I was rejected last week, but I’m happy it happened.
For a while I’ve fancied a few girls, and at the beginning of last month I decided to go for it with one of them in particular. I thought. Then I thought some more. Then I talked to a few of her friends. I asked them some questions. Then I sent her flowers and another gift with a poem a month later. Then the next day after that arrived, in a cathartic moment I was kindly let down.
Now you may be asking why was I so happy about being rejected? I had spent time, energy, thought, and money on doing this after all. There’s many reasons that I was perfectly content. Firstly I proved to myself that I was alive. That I could take a bold proactive step into something where I didn’t control the outcome but still proceed anyway; while not caring about the results either way. Kind of like screaming my name out on the subway, but in a more controlled fashion.
Beyond that, regardless of the end answer received, I captured the attention and appreciation of an individual I hold much personal and professional respect for. That alone is worth it. Rather than make a gesture with a bias towards it creating a set of results, it was kindness for the sake of being kind, and the fact that it was appreciated is all I could ask for.
Finally, outside of everything else, I got an answer to a question I wanted to ask for a long time. That fact in and of itself is relieving. She took a day to think and then texted me. It just so happened that in this case the answer is no.
Oh well. At least I was able to ask the question. I wonder what the answer will be from the person I ask next.–